Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a wink. It begins in a boardroom or a chatroom.
One spouse says, "Whats the problem? Were only friends."
The other spouse can not
believe the reassurances. So the jealousy builds and a wedge is driven between partners. Sometimes nothing really is going on, and sometimes an affair is in progress. Its only a matter of instant.
So how might
you tell if your spouse is a potential cheater? How may you stop a relationship from becoming romantic outside of your marriage? Here are five topics to ruminate on
before determining if your marriage is in the danger zone.
1. Secrecy: Do you feel as though your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend? Or do you hide the details of your platonic relationship from your spouse? If so, why? Its best not to keep secrets from your partner, even if you think he or she will be hurt, angry or jealous. If you want a successful relationship, trust and honesty is the one factor for marriage that should not be compromised.
2. Displaced Trust: Is acquired skill
that should only be shared between husband and a wife, shared outside of the relationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of your partners shortcomings are best left within the constructs of your marriage relationship.
3. Comparing: Does your spouse compare you to friend(s) of the opposite sex often? Or do YOU feel as though your spouse could improve in the areas that your special friend excels? Comparing once or twice might
not be a problem, but habitual comparison is a warning sign.
4. Time Management: What type of instant do you spend together as a married couple? Is it mainly dutiful, like paying bills or going to conferences for the kids? Or do you actually date-- one-on-one, no kids, family or friends around? If not, and you find yourself, or your partner, engaged in date like activities outside of your relationship, stop it. Either invite your spouse or dont do it anymore. Coffee talk can turn to pillow talk in the blink of an eye.
5. Attraction: Do you feel as though your spouse like the way his/her special friend looks? Are you attracted to the way your friend looks or the way he/she does something? If so, address this issue with your partner and then try to refocus your attention on each other, rather than the outside party.
If three to five of these topics need to be addressed in your marriage, do not
wait until its too late. I urge you to get professional help either from your religious leader or from a professional counselor.